he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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