Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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