Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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