the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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