She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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