i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
