i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
