my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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