I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
3 2 1 whiskey
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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