Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
