so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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