hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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