Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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