you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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