Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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