My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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