sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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