dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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