Do you still have your period?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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