I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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