So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
