if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
