I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize