And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
