He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
