Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Boobs speak an international language.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
