I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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