cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
