Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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