Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
