these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
