Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
