Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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