i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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