Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
