There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
