You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
