Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
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It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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