This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
