you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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