I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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