When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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