I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We have so much sex to catch up on
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
