god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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