I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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