You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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