I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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