i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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