oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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