Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
