I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
