You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
