You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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