so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
