I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
