so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
