we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
