I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
