Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
there is puke in my bra ... again
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